Making the Cut

James may not be in American Idol's Top 10 just yet, but I know someone who made the Medi Cover Model Top 10... Yea, I made it !!!!!!!!! I guess this mama's still got it after all. Just look at my "Blue Steel" or is that "My heels are killing me Bitch". (I tried, but my fierce always reads slightly more irritated. I'll get down, eventually.) :)



Time to celebrate on this Valentines Day. Cheers to loving others and to learning to love yourself!

Song of the day: YouTube - ainow.org: Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers PointsPlus (This isn't meant to endorse Weight Watchers, but to show an emotion. It's hard to describe to someone who has never had a serious weight problem how it feels but I think Jennifer Hudson knows. Girlfriend nailed it.)

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Challenge of the Day

Me Vs. Aphrodite












I need a good after photo for the Medi contest due in by Monday. I've lost the weight, I'm using a real beach at sunset for my back drop, and can at least pretend I'm a goddess. I can do this. Let's do this!

Like Eminem says, you only get on shot, better make it count.
YouTube - Eminem - Lose Yourself (set to clips from 8 Mile)

Recipe of the Day

My body is aching, I'm tired, it's 51 degrees here in Florida, and my kids are never going to have enough energy to finish their homework and save the world via Xbox, if I don't cook something soon. It's time for some comfort food. A meal that is easy to make with some added heat to you warm. This version is very mild but can be made stronger if you're taste buds can handle it.

Spicy Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients

4 cups water
4 cups chicken broth
5 skinless, boneless chicken breast sliced in half
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
½ teaspoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon paprika
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 chopped onion
3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 (16 ounce) jar salsa
4 tablespoons chili powder
1 (16 ounce) container low fat sour cream
1 package Tofu Shirataki noodles

Directions

1. Combine water, chicken broth, chicken, garlic powder, onion powder, dried oregano, and paprika in a large pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and let simmer for one hour.

2. Remove the chicken and shred, making sure to save the water and broth for later.

3. Combine onion, garlic, and olive oil in a large pot and cook until slightly
browned.

4. Add in salsa, chili powder, sour cream, shredded chicken, Tofu Shirataki noodles, and reserved water and broth. Simmer for 30 minutes.

Let Them Eat Cake

On a much lighter note... Here is one of the recipes I think I'm going to submit to the Medi book. I know, I'm totally pulling a Britney Spears here, giving away a sample of my latest creative work before the finished product drops, but my bloggies and Twitter moms shouldn't have to wait.

It still needs some tweaking, (Splenda has a little bit of a weird aftertaste) but it looks like a winner. In fact, I don't think it will make it through the weekend if my boys have anything to do with it. It seems to hold up against the best cheesecake ever too - the one my mother makes every year for Thanksgiving. I put my own low carb spin on it, but failed to mention that to them just like I haven't filled them in on that whole Santa thing either... I hope, in time, they will understand.

Erin's Cheesecake

Ingredients

Crust
-3/4 cup finely crushed almonds
-3/4 cup almond flour (sometimes referred to as almond meal)
- 2 tablespoons melted butter

Filling
- 3 eight ounce packages of fat free cream cheese, softened
- 15 ounces part skim ricotta cheese
- 1/3 cup light sour cream
- 1 1/4 cup sugar substitute
- 1/4 cup Fat Free French Vanilla Coffeemate Creamer
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon lemon juice
- 1 tablespoon Irish Cream liquor (I recommend Baileys)
- 3 eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Topping
- scant amount of sugar free strawberry topping, light whipped cream, and
strawberries


Directions
1) Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

2) Spray springfoam pan with nonstick cooking spray.

3) Fill a roasting pan with about 1 inch of water and place in the center of the oven
rack.

4) Mix cream cheese in mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Add ricotta cheese, sour
cream, and sugar substitute one at a time on low speed until blended.

5) In a separate bowl, whisk creamer, vanilla, lemon juice, Irish cream, eggs, and
cinnamon until blended.

6) Pour the egg mixture into the cream cheese mixture and mix on medium speed until
creamy.

7) Pour the filling into the springfoam pan and place pan into the water bath for 15
minutes. Turn the temperature down to 275 degrees F and bake for 1 1/2 hours or
until the top is golden brown. Turn the oven off and leave the cake in to cool for
3 hours. Remove and refrigerate until chilled. Top it off with strawberry topping,
whipped cream, and strawberries. Lift fork to mouth and enjoy!

What's Cooking

A book! A book!!!! It's more of a colaborative cookbook than a fictional bestseller, but it's still a book. (This isn't how I imagined how my first foray into world of publishing would be but you have to start somewhere.) I, along with some others, have joined forces with the enemy, Medi Man, (just joking, we are actually FB friends) and will be submitting our stories along with a couple of favorite recipes for an inspirational/motivational cookbook. Yay! So look out Racheal Ray, there's some healthier and more "yum-oh" meals coming your way so don't be surprised if Barnes and Noble starts marking your book down. Put me and my peeps on your show and you might even get a signed copy. =)

YouTube - The Beatles-Paperback Writer

Survivng

All of those holiday treats might have tried to attach themselves directly to my belly, Fester, but to no avail. Sure, I might have injured my knee permanently, (never do lunges when you're body is still freezing cold), but that extra pound is gone. Let's see that makes a total of 115 pounds, right? Damn straight little snowman cookie with the chocolate chip eyes! Nice try Frosty, but you could never touch that.

Moreover, Medi has taken out another full page ad with that woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to me in this months Tampa Parenting magazine again. That makes two months in a row now! The only problem is that chick. She definitely stole my look. I know they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but she seriously needs get her own style.

True, it's no Time, or Vogue or even a Victoria Secret catalogue but a delivery in the mail of the latter could lead to someone possibly picking up a Parenting magazine down the road... It's just cool to be in any publication and to support something I really care about when most of my life I've never really been confident enough in my appearance to put myself out there. (And I had dreams of it being for something I wrote, for my mind...)

Who knows, I might even make to the January issue. Yeah, they should totally do a new shoot every month with free clothes and a whole glam squad just to change it up. I could be their very first calendar girl and any residual profits could be used to throw parties for all the clients and staff. Like the Cafe Disco on The Office, only in a medical clinic and without Dwight. There's plenty more ideas where that came from but they have to hire me before I divulge anymore. :)

But until that happens, all I can offer is a song. This goes out to everyone who got through 2010 but especially to all my sisters. To the women who still manage to reach out to others despite being sick. The women who made it through the season despite having shotty metabolisms that don't enable them to consume as many calories as those skinny bitches. And to the women who succeeded despite having to wear tacky stage outfits designed by their mother. Here's to you and an even better new year!

The Skinny on Carbs

It's not just about counting calories when losing weight that matters. The amount of carbohydrates you consume are important too. Scientists now saying carbs, not fat, are to blame for America's ills - latimes.com

Jingle All the Way

Tis the season to be jolly with, (among other things), extra helpings, extra drinks, desserts, and cookies - all things that put on the pounds. Exercise is probably you're best line of defense against that pumpkin pie but, if you're like me, you need a little motivation to tie those sneakers on.

This is exactly why my family and I have decided to sign up for a run. The annual Jingle Bell for Arthritis run takes place December 4th at International Plaza in Tampa and is not only a great way to keep your weight down but help a charity as well. Moreover, it's one of the funner races out there with jingle bells provided for your shoelaces, Christmas music, and Santa himself cheering you on. There are serious runners participating but also a big group of people with their dogs and baby strollers who are just trying to be active. You can choose either a 5K (3.2 miles) or a 1 mile "race" and walk, run, or walk/run to the finish line. Whatever works best for you. Get your family involved too and make a memorable event out of it, you'll be glad you did.

More specifically, if any Medi Weight Loss patients would like to join me on that day and form a group to further support and celebrate the healthier changes we've made, please contact me. (Just post a comment and it will directly be forwarded to my email.) For more information go to - 2010 Jingle Bell Run/Walk - Tampa - Home

Don't Walk This Way

Let's face it, not many people enjoy feeling the burn while doing countless repetitions of toning exercises, so when football hall of famer JOE MONTANA says the new Skechers Shape-Ups really work, I started to wonder. Could these expensive sneakers really be the answer to shapely leg prayers of the masses everywhere or has the ex quarterback blown through his retirement fund and extremely hard up for cash? It just seems very unlikely that he would have to worry about that problem. First of all, he was known for his arm throwing abilities and secondly, I highly doubt he has any cellulite or would ever be caught dead wearing a pair off camera. Upon doing some research, I found the following article from ivillage. It's not the most sought after health and fitness source but the findings were based on real study,(with no details given), and the writer's own personal experience. That's seems fairly reliable,right?

www.ivillage.com/toning-shoes-don-t-walk-walk/4-a-229566

(Speaking of walking...Did I mention the Aerosmith concert coming up this Saturday? Well they're going to be at the 1-800 Ask Gary Amphitheater, so be there or be square. And don't forget which way to walk. Steven Tyler knows.

Found

I'm still standing or as June, the 80 year old receptionist at the clinic put it, "They're bringing you back Miss. Sexy!" Now that's more like it, although I do think they should use my latest photo. It's more dramatic and would probably be more motivating to a potential patient. Yeah, and it should be blown up to true billboard size too with a big x covering up most of the before picture... :) And no they wouldn't have to fix that bright spot on my uterus. I don't have any super powers. It was just the way the light was reflecting off the canvas although I have been told that I do radiate a certain light from within...

The sign police tried to bring me down but Medi proved too strong for them and promptly renewed their permit with plans to put it up again as soon as humanly possible. Nurse B. (aka mother hen) made damn sure of it the moment they tried to cart it away like it was nothing.

Next time they better watch who their ordering around with their inane rules. They oughta know that you just can't keep a good woman down.

Song of the day: #1. YouTube - Chumbawamba - Tubthumping AND #2. YouTube - Hall And Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True (Music Video) (1980) (because you just can't get enough Hall and Oates)

Casulaties of Maintenance

Argghhh!!! The holidays suck. Getting ready for the Jingle Bell 5k race and having Halloween candy within a 20 foot radius of me is slowly draining my strength. My brain hurts from trying not to figure out where the fun size snickers are hidden, I smell as rancid as a basket of dirty socks, and I'm too weary to move. It's no piece of cake being healthy. Mmmm, frosting. Must... regenerate... energy... now...need water...must never surrender

YouTube - Fleetwood Mac - Don't Stop

Lost

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody sees it, does it fall? Now there is nothing in the place where my sign used to stand. Do I no longer work? Have the other signs vanished too? Will they be replaced with my new and improved photos? Another patient? Did I help anyone? I don't know.

It's moments like this, when the illusion of Fame is fading away, that I could really use a little Oates, some wine, and a whole lotta Hall.
YouTube - She's Gone (1976) - Hall & Oates

Medi Mama Strikes Again

Well, that is the type of support that I'm talkin' about, given yesterday's slight disappointment! It's even better too because I wasn't expecting it.

It's just too weird. I actually look somewhat trim and slightly stacked in this picture. I'm really glad I took a chance on that dress - a JcPenNEY original, that was marked down! Can you believe that?! It's awesome. The hell with the little BLACK dress ladies. If red works for you and you like it, then don't worry about it being too bold - wear it!

Thank you also to photographer extraordinaire, Christopher Stickney (www.chrisstickney.com) and built in padding for working your magic. Oh, and I'd also like to give a shout out to my mentor, old school supermodel, Tyra Banks - "Hey, girl!" If it wasn't for watching one too many episodes of America's Next Top Model I would never have known how to twist my body like a contortionist to find the most painfully flattering angles.

If this isn't proof that Medi rocks than I don't know to say. If you are overweight and it's negatively impacting your life, (and if I haven't said it enough), cast your doubts aside and Join Medi Weightloss clinics(www.mediweightlossclinics.com). Take care of yourself. This is blatant promotion, but it's so much harder to do it all by yourself. I know, I tried for more years than I care to remember, stopping and starting one diet after another on my own only to eventually end up back where I started or worse. The medical supervision, medication, and support make a huge difference, (no pun intended), and can make the whole process so much easier and more successful, especially when it gets challenging.

Like this week and the following week with all the cake, ice cream, and Halloween candy around that's as addicting as a drug for a sugar junkie like me. And that's just the start. Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner. I could probably eat cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday and be very content in the short term, but I know it would limit me. I wouldn't be half as happy not being able to wear the clothes I want to wear, run around with my kids, or do all the other activities I want to do without having to worry if my weight will be an issue.

It's incentives like these printed testimonials, where I can share my story and maybe even impact someone, that help motivate me to keep building on what I've been doing. After all, I gotta walk the walk if I'm gonna represent. And from what I hear there will be more promotion with a winter picture of this Florida resident amongst the snowflakes in the works. If all goes well I could even make the calendar for spring and summer too. I may be too pasty white for the swimsuit issue though.

This calls for, yes, you guessed, it a song. Hall and Oates, one more time, cause that's how I roll! This one's for you, Medi.YouTube - Hall And Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True (Music Video) (1980)

Under Construction

So far, so good. I would like to drop five more pounds to be able to comfortably fit into the next size down, but I've reached a plateau. When that happens, it usually means that your body has reached some sort of level of tolerance and you need to challenge it in news ways.

So I'm reducing some of my Cardio Queen duties for awhile and focusing more on strength exercises. This may be the better way to go anyways. From what I've been reading, cardio is great for burning calories but not as effective as weight bearing exercises for burning fat and building lean body mass. So, too much running and you could end up looking more skinny fat than toned. (For a visual, think Vince Vaughn before dating Jennifer Aniston and then after. He's still adorable either way, but there is a difference.) If you're going to put in the time, you might as well get as much bang for your buck as you can.

The key is to start slow and build, concentrating on one main body part at a time, so as not to be entirely incapacitated the next day. Yet, even with this strategy in mind, you know that you WILL encounter a painful amount of muscle soreness, so get the ice pack, the Calgon bubble bath, Ibuprofen, and Bengay ready in advance. But hey, if it gets bad enough you can always just whimper loud enough so your significant other will take pity on your weak ass and be willing to give you a massage to ease your misery. Otherwise you could be permanently immobile and forced into a nursing home way before your time.

Tonight, though, I'm trying out my new Yoga and Pilates DVD. The woman on the cover seems really ecstatic about it making me think that downward dog just may be the key to happiness. I figure if it's good enough for Cameron Diaz and all of those other Hollywood stars, then it's good enough for me. With any luck and 8hrs of core training a day, I should have a smokin' bod like hers just in time for the next magazine cover that is sure to come my way. Medi hasn't offered me that yet, but it's probably just a matter of time before they decide they need someone for a Valerie Bertinelli bikini shot. :) In the meantime I'll just work on those abs, pencil in a minor, little tummy tuck, and gather up some courage for that belly button piercing and I'll be good to go. Until then, I'll keep you posted. Time to get started.

(Looks like Mick has done so yoga in his time too. Check out his transition from chicken warrior to swimming monkey. How did he ever get all those groupies?)

YouTube - Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

Extra, Extra!

When I was first heard of LOLA, the new newspaper in town, my mind automatically journeys back to here:

"I met her in a club down in old Soho where they drink champagne, and it tastes just like cherry cola C-O-L-A cola...

However, LOLA is not some gay and lesbian publication as it's name might allude to. LOLA stands for Land O' Lakes/Lutz Area, the out in the boondocks city I have no choice but to call home for now. The talk around town is that a this media giant is printing a big story in their June 1st edition, about these incredibly inspiring people who changed her way of thinking, started believing in themselves, and made huge transformations in their life. A coming out of sorts, just in a different way. The following song goes out to all of these fat fighters.



I've seen one of the featured women around town, hanging outside on the streets, on some billboard. She's one of those people that you can tell, just by looking at her, has got to be cool. It's no wonder they made her their poster person. She should get paid big time for being brave enough to put her impromptu, bloated beyond belief before picture out there for all to see. Not only is she attractive in every single way, but she's got a lot of guts too, just not as much as she used to.

It's strange, but I feel as if I know her or have seen her somewhere else before. Maybe she was that chick with the slightly pained expression, zooming past the frozen food section of the grocery store Saturday night in an effort to avoid death by chocolate-with-little-turtle-shaped-pieces-of-fudge ice cream. Adhering to a healthy lifestyle can be a challenge, but she seems to know that it goes beyond the food and that it's really about being comfortable and confident with yourself and honoring that. I'll have to check out her story and buy a copy,(or two dozen), to show my friends and family. We seem have a lot in common.

This one's for her. Way to go Mama!

Cover Girl Part II

I should be happy. In fact, yesterday I didn't think it was possible to have a permanent smile stuck on my face while pushing a squeaky grocery cart down the crowded aisle of Winn Dixie for the thousandth time, but the pressure is on.

Out of nowhere Medi sent me an urgent email. It was from a woman I hadn't met before telling me that she's sorry she missed me during my weekly visit but that corporate is doing some new advertising with some of it's top clients and was wondering if I would be interested. A top photographer in the area, (http://www.chrisstickney.com/home.html) is taking the photos in a week, with hair and makeup provided and I need to get back to her ASAP to book a time slot. Oh and the pictures are also going to be printed in a local paper too. On top of that I also have to bring four outfits, (a workout, business suit, casual, and dressy)and props that reflect my personality. Deal or no deal?

Never having taken any of those ultra posed, cheesy high senior pictures, I immediately said "Yes" but not without any reservation. Granted, it is a really great opportuntiy but those pictures are forever, and I don't want to cringe when I look at them. There's much work to be done to complete this Operation Beautification and only one week to complete it is cutting it a bit close.

Futhermore, these photos are going to be mass produced as motivation for other clients so I gotta represent but I have nothing to wear. My workout attire consists of a sports bra and mismatched mens plaid boxers. And as for a business suit well, I hate the "uniform" they tell you to wear for interviews and my take is a little more creative. The casual outfit won't be a problem but the dress I have may not work. It's gorgeous but has a red flower print on it and prints aren't recommended.

Looks like I have to go shopping but the whole process is overwhelming. I don't know my size anymore as it's always changing and I don't know what's fashionable since I'm accustomed to wearing tents from Moo Moo Land. Now, dresses actually come with built in padding that can stand on it's own, no breasts necessary. I had no idea. It's times like this that I wish Tim Gunn from Project Runway would magically appear to help me find something fabulous and encourage me to "Make it work".

YouTube - Roxette - Dressed For Success

Rock On, Mom

That's what my youngest said when I told him about my latest news. In the grand scheme of life, it's really just a little thing but that's what it's all about when you drift into sleep recounting the day. More specifically, the main event centered around one single shirt. A new spring inspired sky blue shirt, size SMALL! Someone must have stolen my identity because I don't know the person who can fit into this and this in no way resembles any form of life that I'm familiar with. I was just getting used to putting back the large in exchange for the medium and now the situation has switched again. I don't handle change well, but in this instance, I'm learning to be okay with it. So far I've lost 116 lbs or a person, if you will, and keep going through the stages of grief with each new experience in my second life.

1. First there's denial. What?! I must be have having a hallucination. I should really get more sleep. I swear, I'm not supposed to drink that much caffeine with my medication and now I'm seriously messed up. Let me recheck the label. That can't possibly be right. It's the contacts. I've had them way too long and need to make an appointment to see the optometrist again before I go completely blind.

2. Then comes anger. Great, I guess that means my chest is shrinking too! The one body part that was fine just the way it was and now I look about as shapely as my 11 year old niece. How the hell am I suppose to stack up with all of the fake cleavage flaunting moms out here now? Boob jobs hurt and, unless you're a stripper, they aren't free either. So much for that damn college education.

3. Next is bargaining. God, if you could just redistribute the weight from my hips, and thighs to bless me with ginormous knockers,and an ass like J-Lo, then I swear on my life that ice cream will never touch my lips again. Ben and Jerry will be dead to me.

4. Following this is depression. All of the clothes in my closet suck, they're too big and look frumpy on me. I have nothing to wear. I have to go on a shopping marathon but I can't leave the house looking like this. I hate the mall. There's really no reason to get out of bed today.

5. Finally, there is acceptance. Security is not going to escort you away to the dark corner, aka, the plus size dept, so stop looking over your shoulder. It's okay to shop where all the other women shop. Objects may appear larger with the underwire support of a generously padded push up bra. Who knew? See, you do learn something new everyday. And for the love of God, stop getting misty eyed when something fits and looks nice. That's what you get when you take care of yourself. Just don't go crazy trying on all those fancy dresses. Get closure on not going to the prom seventeen years ago and let it go. Danny Logan is not standing outside the dressing room in a tux with a corsage for you no matter how cute that sparkly fuchsia dress is.

Moving on after a loss is a process and everyone grieves in their own way. I only hope that, one day, I'll find some peace.

Mediman

Facebook | Medi-Weightloss Clinics®'s Photos - Cover Model Contest- TOP 10!

The poor guy is going to be on tomorrow during the fourth hour at 12pm of The Today Show, or as I like to call the "wacky hour," hosted by Hoda and America's aging sweetheart-Kathy Lee Gifford. I swear, if looney tunes is the slightest bit tipsy or even starts going on and on about Frank falling asleep at noon or her son Cody taking off in his new SUV... Can you blame them? But at least you'll look extremely sane next to her. Sorry about your luck Jerome, just rivert back to making eye contact with Hoda. She won't go off on tangents that having nothing to do with the topic and is genuinely happy for those with major weight loss achievements. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she even makes you twirl. It may seem silly but you'll be showing people just how extraordinary they can be when they put everything they have into one goal. It not only rewards you with a better life but encourages others to go for it too. The Medi community will be sure to set our tivos.

Today

"Hello, Erin? Hi, this is Gerry from Medi Weightloss Clinics. One of our patients who lost 300lbs is going to be on the Today show this Monday and I just wanted to know if it would be okay to give them your name and information in case they want to ask you some questions or would like to use your testimonial?" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? OKAY?????? HELL YEAH!!!! They don't even need to ask, like I'm going to say NO to the FREAKING Today Show!!!!!!! Oh, okay I'll see if I can TRY to find the time to answer my phone. I do have some bon bons that I need eat and a couch to hold down, but if you must.

I can't even imagine sipping my morning coffee and hearing Al, Matt, Meredith, or Ann say my name while talking about the Joy Fit Club. (Hearing Kathy Lee's gravely, high pitched voice, now that's another thing all together. Why is she back on morning TV and why is she always drinking some alcoholic beverage?) I'm freakin' Ms. Medi. I'm kind of a big deal in the Florida Medi circle and I don't get it. I know losing 116lbs and counting, (5-8 more to go), is as much as a petite woman, but after seeing the other contestants in the contest, I also know some people have lost more and have probably worked harder. I didn't lose it in record time, I don't live in the gym, I don't put an excessive amount of time into cooking, and even indulge in small treats like my mini chocolate Easter bunny, from time to time. I don't even check my ketosis levels and haven't in over a year.

The perfect plan they would like everyone to follow is impossible for me. I did everything right for the first three months and then made minor adjustments to make it work for me. That's what has worked for me. That along with adding variety to make it interesting, constantly changing my thinking and being held accountable. That's how I did it. There's really no big secret or anything more to it than that. Well, maybe rewarding myself with unnecessary clothes shopping and just getting out for a change. You know, like having some fun once and awhile, like normal people do. Too many people, especially dieters, think it has to be all or nothing, when that's just not realistic. Sooner or later you end up feeling deprived, start binging on junk food, feel horrible and eventually give up. It's like getting 100% on a test. It's possible but when it's all said and done an A's an A. Even if you put in 90% that's still pretty damn good. Moreover, it leaves room for improvement, as any life long change is always a work in progress.
Ideally, it would be incredible to be the one on The Today Show but Jerome has done an outstanding job and has more than earned it. Plus, having been overweight for more years than not, I know he wasn't really living life at 500lbs. Just being 20lbs over what's considered normal is more than enough to leave a mark on your everyday experiences. Try living with hundreds of extra pounds for years and years. Talk about barriers. He more than deserves it.

There may not be a phone call from the major affiliates or the local news here but that's fine. The fact that my name was on the list, The Today Show list, THE TODAY MOTHER FREAKIN SHOW list, is one of the biggest things that has ever happened to me. How many people can say that? This is the best dream ever. If you want to change, do it. Make it fun and put some heart into it and you're good to go. (Now I sound like a Nikey ad, gotta work on my slogan. I'm screwed if Matt Lauer wants my advice in a one sentence sound bite. I'll just deflect it and turn the question back on him. Have you seen the man's six pack?)

Rock Steady

Yes! This is the song of the day today for the victory dance. It may be about something entirely different but I'm going to pretend that it also speaks to weight loss maintenance,(or consistency in general), and squeeze it into my own life soundtrack.

It's been 16 months and I finally reached my goal weight to the exact ounce! How perfect is that? You can't make shit like that up. The only thing that could possibly top that is if I had timed it to happen on St. Patrick's Day. It was always the elusive "in my dreams" target that I'd never thought I'd ever even get close to and now it's real. I still can't wrap my head around it as my eyes still automatically well up every time I really see the changes. I'm nearly done and ready to close the book on that chapter for good now.

I wasn't going to go to the Aretha Franklin concert this Sat. but screw the damn flag football for once. It's ruined weekend plans way too many times. It's imperative that I celebrate and ReRe is one of the greatest singers of all time, plus it's free dammit! I am NOT missing it.

The Little Black Dress

I can't remember the last time I wore a dress, not a long skirt that goes down to your ankles but a dress that actually shows some leg. (I think it was at a Mardi Gras party in Cancun, Mexico over ten years ago. I even got some beads that night and I didn't even have to flash my boobs or kiss a stranger). It's not that I have an aversion to looking ultra feminine but when you're heavyset you just can't pull it off. It's not cute. Yesterday I decided I needed to punctuate all my hard work with a statement. I bought the casual little black dress and I'm going to rock it with some killer hot heels...eventually. First I have to find the shoes and then I have to learn how to walk in them without wiping out on the pavement. Finally, I have to arrange for a babysitter. When that's all set, I'm stepping out with my baby.

The Eye of the Tiger

It's done. The entry is posted and up to the judges now. If any of my blogger buddies are interested, you can check it out at www.facebook.com/1.877.MED.LOSS. If I make it to the top 10 then it's up to fan votes to determine the winner, so I'm starting to rally the troops now. The finalists will be announced on Feb. 15th, so please become a fan and help a momma out.

And no I didn't use the above pic for my after shot. It was just a funny shot meant to channel Ru Paul's song "You Betta Work, Cover Girl". I thought about posing in front of a refrigerator or draping myself over a life size cut out of Johnny Depp with a cartoon bubble over his head saying, "Pick Erin" but I didn't want people to think I don't take losing weight seriously. Maybe I should have. It probably would have made my entry standout,(humor is really just a cover up for deeper feelings) but I'm hoping that the fact I have a banner and wrote a novel helps. I think I wrote too much but that's me, very detailed and wordy. I blame all of my English teachers who drove me crazy by assigning 10 page papers to cover a few simple points.

YouTube  Roxette - The Look (rare-early video clip)

The LONG Run at the Ranch

The whole family ran today and I'm proud to say that we all beat our best times! Nugget even shaved off two minutes from his last race time, which is impressive considering the poor boy would rather clean the kitty litter box than huff and puff. He's so cute though with his little skip to his run. I wanted to stay and cheer him on at the finish line but the porcelain god was calling my name too loud to ignore. Running while you're sick to your stomach is not a good idea. I don't recommend it. I thought I could suck it up for ten minutes but it's much more torturous once you're in motion. On top of that, I swear that the little girl in front of me was laughing at me as she kicked my butt. But I didn't walk and had a good time considering that most of the runners were teenagers from the school's cross country team. Thankfully Dave was there to run along with Evan and has been taking care of the boys all day while I've been sick in bed.

What's Up

What's up? Oh, I don't know... maybe just the new Medi banner with MY picture on it! How cool is that? Okay, so I'm going to be the only person possibly getting in an accident checking it out, but hey, not just anyone can get on a sign for losing weight. As my first born son so lovingly pointed out to me, you have to be the "tubbiest" person before. (I was on bedrest for weeks while I was pregnant with that boy and this is what I get.) I just have to block that out. He's just defensive cause his momma also knocked ten seconds off her mile time today and nearly passed him. Naysayers and menstrual cramps be damned!

Covergirl?

I'm happy to report that Operation "Find a Vein" is complete. (YES! Thank you Barbara.) I also got a chance to see the mock up for the banner today too. Thumbs up. I'm not thrilled about the before picture but I like the after. I just wish I would have gone for it and worn a dress with heels but the general consensus amongst the staff is that, "Girl, you look hot." I don't know if I buy that, but I do think that I look pretty damn good in comparison. If that sounds boastful then so be it. I've been a fairly quiet, modest person most of my life and have found that all that usually ever got me was a pattern of being overlooked and underappreciated. I'm a good person and try to work hard at everything I do and think it's about time I got a little recognition for it. So there.

Barbara also informed me of the Medi cover model contest. It's for anyone in the program who has been successful and would like to share their story. I'm not sure if my testimonial is dramatic enough to actually win but the staff keeps encouraging me to enter. They think I can win. Maybe it's a sign that I should give it a shot. If you do win, your picture will be taken for the cover of their national magazine, and your essay will be the feature article. They wouldn't even have to fly me out to Tampa if I were lucky enough to beat out the other contestants. I'd get a some cash, a weekend stay at a beachfront hotel, a free makeover, and a tale of my days as a glamorous model that I could pass on to my grandchildren :) I'm not wearing any bathing suit though, no matter how much they pay me. I like to keep it classy.

It's all kind of silly but it would be great if this whole experience lead to being able to really help people who share the same problem that has been plaguing me for years. I think for me, the key was just finally making up my mind that I was done going on with the way I was living. I was going to seriously jeopardize my health if I didn't change. It's still a constant struggle,(me and sugar used to be real tight) but if you can keep trying bit by bit, you'd be surprised how far past the bar you can go. Having that feeling and seeing how it filters into other areas of your life and the lives of those around you, makes it more than worth it.

To All the Fat Girls

A few days ago, the weight loss clinic I've been religiously going to once a week for over a year asked me if I would be there poster girl! This means that my name and ever so flattering before picture, along with my impromptu after picture will be blown up to fit a billboard for anyone and their mother in town to see.

Granted, the billboard is small and the poster boy, the Bud Man, (he drives a Budweiser truck and probably pays with beer) will be on the other side, but I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it's very flattering and validating after months of tracking everything I eat, drinking gallons of water, and literally working my ass of with exercise. In fact, in a wave of elation, I can faintly hear the fast guitar riff from Fleetwood Mac's "The Edge of Seventeen" begin to repeat in my head and in my imagination I'm in some trendy nightclub on stage with Destiny's Child. They're doing a special reunion concert when Beyonce looks over at ME and begins the opening chant to "Bootylicious".

Kelly, can you handle this?
Michelle, can you handle this?
ERIN, can you handle this?
I don't think they can handle this.

Better move, cause we've arrived.
Lookin' sexy, lookin' fly.
Baddest chicks, inside
DJ, play for me...

Quickly I snap out of my little victory shimmy as I realize that I'm just a geeky, white girl who has no "jelly" but for a brief moment I feel as empowered as Sasha Fierce.

However, in reality I'm really not sure that I can handle it. It makes me uneasy to think that an image of me at my highest weight and least attractive is going to be made public. It's like the equivalent of seeing a junkie with a needle sticking out of their arm or an alcoholic slumped over in a pool of their own vomit. The might as well photo shop a giant doughnut dripping in chocolate in my hand with the caption, "Get it my BELLY" underneath. But that's the rub with being addicted to food. You can't conceal it.

Despite this, I don't despise my former self. It's just that it's a sad reminder of a difficult time when I didn't value myself and had little hope that I could change. Ironically, the new after picture makes me uncomfortable too as I don't recognize myself in that picture either. I know it's me but it's somehow different looking at yourself in a photo instead of a mirror. In fact, I've had to take pictures all along my weight loss just to see myself objectively. I actually have cheekbones and a waist?! True, I'm never going to be a knockout like my girl B. but with my goofy smile, and kind disposition, I'm sort of attractive in my own way. More important though are the changes which are not as easily visible from the outside. I believe in myself more and as a result, I like myself enough to stop beating myself up and start taking care of myself. Hopefully that comes through in the photograph as well.

I don't know if anyone will see themselves in my before picture or if my after picture can inspire others to lose weight, but I do know that just noticing the Medi sign when driving by was enough to get me to think about doing something. And that's a good place to start.

Welcome To the Fourth Dimension

Currently, I'm in the process of trying to find the perfect "track suit". It has to not only match the gray and blue Nikey swooshes on my new running shoes but also keep me warm but not too warm for the upcoming race. I never thought I'd see the day. I might just be encountering an out of body experience in the twilight zone.

Starting Up

FYI: Replace really old running shoes sooner rather than later, they make a big difference in performance. Nike Downshifters II rock and they're cute too.

Going the Distance

I think elliptical machinery should be an Olympic sport. They could switch it out with archery in the decathlon,(it's more of a skill anyways),to ease it into the mainstream first and eventually it will explode onto the scene like snowboarding. I can see it now, moms across the world competing against those half their age only to stand on the podium with a gold medal hanging around their neck at the end.

Okay, so it may never reach that awe inspiring status, but it does have it's benefits. The main perk being that you can get a great cardio workout in the privacy of your own home. This means you never have to worry about the weather, looking like a red faced, sweaty mess in a gym, or have to suppress the urge to breathlessly belt out Sweet Child of Mine when it comes up on your Ipod shuffle. If you do this though just be prepared to be mercilessly ridiculed by anyone within earshot. You may think that you're killing two birds with one stone by cultivating your Karaoke talent while simultaneously strengthening your heart but they'll think you're shrieking in pain and in need of 911 assistance.

Score One For Mom

I reached the 100 pound mark today! Yay! Yay, YAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! :) It's been a long time coming and I actually got there. It sounds horribly corny but, to me it feels like a dream; one that still doesn't feel quite real and that could slip away when I wake up. For some reason, (I still don't fully understand), I buried who I was for years, and now it feels like I can be the person that I had wanted to be. I was always okay. I just couldn't see it or give myself enough credit. Dammit, now I'm getting all emotional like Oprah during the Whitney Houston interview or every other episode of her show for that matter... It's just good to be getting there, even if I am a little late.

A Second Look

I've been really bad about keeping up with this blog and after analyzing it, (as I do with just about everything), I guess it's because it's always been a sensitive issue. I'm really good at avoiding those things but maybe I just need give myself some time to adjust.

Like yesterday for example. I had sometime in between labs and was going for some coffee when I noticed my reflection in the glass door. I've gotten used to not looking as it always mad me feel bad, and for the first time in a long time that I didn't hate what I saw. It sounds normal for most, but it's such a relief to me to not have to worry so much about what I look like. People are even saying "Hi" to me more often when walking by and I'm still trying to get used to it.

There are those that would say that the body is just a container for the real you and that you are not your body, yet I can't say that it doesn't matter to some extent. Why are you treated differently based on appearance and why does that change how you feel about yourself? Maybe it's just all in my head.

Filling Up the Tank

I had my weekly weigh in a couple of days ago with my regular doctor, and am down 1.8pounds. That's better than the last couple of weeks, so maybe the beauty comments from Dr. Rico Suave made me work a little harder.

But Woods is pretty cool too. I love his first name, Woods. How many other people do you meet with that name? It sounds like a Grandpa name but I think it's still distinctive in a good way. It says, "I'm reliable and strong," just like a forest of trees. He's an older man from Georgia with a bit of a belly who reminds me a lot of my dad with his personal approach. He's the type of person who's never in a hurry, is genuinely interested in people, and will sit and talk with you about your vacation and kids, while making sure you're taking in enough electrolytes. He's old school through and through, even down to the standard blood pressure cuff he uses. Everyone else uses the new electronic ones that automatically calculate the numbers for you, but he uses the same one from 1950 along with the stethoscope. You would think that the poor man would be able to retire by now, but maybe he would rather work? He's never given me the "beautiful" compliment but usually has something nice to say about my progress. His newest remark, " Well, you're just gassin' along there arent you?" was meant one way but could be taken another. Both the nurse and I had to laugh after that one. I'm a lady mister.

Born To Run?

Shakira was right, your hips don't lie and she oughta know. Today, my left hip is good to go for tomorrows race while the right one is whimpering in despair wondering what it did to deserve such abuse. It's just another unfair, lingering side effect from my heavier days and now I'm subject to limping around like a senior citizen who fell off their golf cart and is in need of hip replacement. For the time being I can rely on icy hot, (my favorite perfume), and a ibuprofen to alleviate some of the discomfort after I jog, but that's only a temporary fix. I was just starting to hit my stride and now it looks like a runners' life may not be for me. :(

Making Friends and Influencing People

As a Psych major, I'm familiar with the multitude of methods to change behavior but was never a big fan of the external reward for reinforcement. Although I don't doubt it works, I always thought that it was more effective in the long run to find the internal incentive. Speaking for myself, I believed that all that I needed to continue with a desirable behavior was for it to really matter to me.

Well, I'm only human and I discovered that I was slightly off. Case in point: Today I met with a new doctor at the weight loss clinic I've been going to for months who stated, "Oh my God, I thought I had the wrong patient, your photo at the beginning doesn't even look like you! You're beautiful. Wow, what does your husband think?"

I don't know whether the white smudge on his tie was crack or powdered sugar from a carb saturated donut, but the man was clearly high on something since the last time I checked, 4 hours of sleep plus jeans and a t-shirt didn't equal aesthetically pleasing. No, I wasn't the type of person who, after first sight, could inspire someone to write a touching tribute song but something all together different. I'm more likely to give the impression of being too nice which explains why the only lyrics anyone ever wrote me were apologetic by some jackass Kurt Cobain wannabe with the refrain "Sorry" screamed over and over again into a breakup song. But I liked this doctor's forthright style, positive attitude, and exuberant enthusiasm enough to politely go along with his delusion. Besides, as a woman, you can never hear that compliment enough, especially when it comes from someone you just met. It works for me, as now I've got that extra boost, in addition to my own resolve, to literally go the extra mile in my cardio regime. He's my new favorite doctor.

And at this rate who knows what could happen next. Somebody could discover my photo posted in the lobby and offer me some spokeperson deal like Valerie Bertenelli has for Jenny Craig. Maybe I could even be on Oprah and get a book deal too. Hell, I would settle for a lifetime supply of their chocolate protein bars.

Back To Life

Most women, after having children, still posses a pair of "skinny" jeans hiding somewhere in the back of their closet in hopes that, someday, they will see the light of day. In fact I can remember checking out "Losing the Baby Weight" shortly after my last child, motivated to find my waistline again only to have the woman behind the checkout counter say, "You never really lose all the baby weight, I had my daughter six years ago and I'm still twenty pounds heavier. You're books are due back in three weeks, have a good day and good luck sweetie."

Despite those ever supportive words of encouragement from Debbie Downer, I resolved to give it try, knowing deep down that it wasn't going to be easy, especially since I spent most of my days at home with my two babies. Shortly after, I managed to make enough progress to warrant buying new clothes, but never reached my goal. Fast forward a few years later and my weight was higher than ever with the only remains of my former self being a bathing suit from a spring break trip to Cancun back in the day.

For the longest time the suit only served as a sentimental reminder of the carefree days my husband and I shared before we got married and I never thought I would ever wear it again. Well, today I reluctantly tried it on as my other suit was too loose and it fits!? Holy shit! I guess it just shows that with a little faith, a new mindset, and some hard work, you too can get there ladies.

And when you do, make sure you celebrate your victory properly. I'm off to a weekend full of sun, waves, tropical drinks, and cool breezes at Siesta Key Beach. I just hope I can still stay on my feet after a couple of daiquiris.

Race For The Cure

Race day tomorrow. We'll be sweaty and salty by noon. I'm pretty sure I could beat Dave at this point, but we've agreed to do it together. I wouldn't have even considered it 6 months ago, as it would have seemed challenging then. I missed the running. I'm not the runner I used to be but could be down the road. Down 71 pounds and almost back to being the cerebral hottie he used to call me. He now calls me Erinlicous since I'm just like Fergie, working on my fitness. I only wish it would not have taken so long to put things back together, never again!